Coming Out to My Grandmother…Again

Before coming out as trans, I came out to my whole family as gay.  In fact, I actually came out as gay to my grandmother twice.  What you have to understand is that one half of my family comprises of a whole bunch of delightfully and spectacularly irreverent, caustic, Brooklyn Jews.  We used to all go out for Chinese food whenever we found ourselves all in the same state, and it was always a fantastic time.  One time my uncles even got another family to join in singing selections from Fiddler on the Roof with us.  During one of the last of these dinners before my grandma died, she revealed that she had picked up knitting scarves and offered to knit me one.  I told her that would be fantastic, and she asked me what colors I wanted.  I shrugged, saying I was not too fussed, maybe green or something.

Now, at this point, I should mention two things.  First, I had already come out to my grandma once at this point in high school, but I am pretty sure she forgot about it (it didn’t come up very often in conversation).  Second, I have never been intentionally stereotypical, but I naturally incline toward some stereotypes (stereotypes which I thought applied to me as a butch lesbian, but it turns out just apply to me as a straight trans man).

So, my grandma nods at me and says, “Well, I have some nice pink and purple yarn at home.  Why don’t I make you a scarf out of those?”

“Thanks, grandma, but that’s not really my style.”

She looked at me, “What, are you a dyke?”

I smiled at her, responding, “Well, grandma, actually I am.”

At this point my grandma started to laugh until she realized I wasn’t kidding.  “Are you serious,” she said, and then, “Well, I love you, of course.”

After a pause, she added, “I mean, I don’t love you in that way…”

God, I love my family.

Creative Commons License

“Coming Out to My Grandmother…Again” by is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at

This entry was posted in Childhood, Coming Out and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Coming Out to My Grandmother…Again

  1. Pingback: Coming Out to My Grandmother…Again | Growing Up As Gareth | Grandma Network

  2. Polka Dot says:

    What a great story! Grandmas with attitude are the best!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s