Good morning, everyone! Today is my three months on T (technically, one week shy of the official “birthday”). Here are voice clips:
Pre-T: 110125 Pre-T
12 Weeks: 110418 12 Weeks
I cannot believe how much has changed in the last three months, in the last six months, and in the last two and a half years. I remember the first book I picked up on trans guys (Max Wolf Valerio’s, “The Testosterone Files”), sitting in my college library reading it because I didn’t want to bring it back to my room. I remember reading about the changes he experienced on T, that glimmer of hope I felt in realizing those changes were attainable. But, at some point, I decided it was too complicated; I decided I wasn’t strong enough, or brave enough, or sure enough.
Now, here I stand, driving my friends crazy with weekly updates on how many new hairs I have on my forearms (sorry, friends). Speaking of which, I am more excited about the hair on my arms than I ever thought I could be. I never noticed, but I didn’t have hair on the bottoms of my arms before. Now, they’re starting to pop in slowly but surely. I am also getting significant hair growth on my upper arms, which, again, I hadn’t realized would be a thing, but I am sure as hell excited about it. Also, the hair I already had is becoming thicker and darker, I’m pretty sure, and a little bit longer. The patch of facial hair has extended from a tiny, lopsided blip on one side of my chin to a more solid, noticeable patch on my entire chin. If I don’t shave for a while, people can even see it from a reasonable distance (“reasonable” meaning, in this instance, probably casual conversation distance, as opposed to “Gareth-wants-me-to-observe-his-facial-hair” distance). The rest of my face is starting to sport light, fuzzy hair all over, though most of it is not visible.
I have begun to come out to some old friends I had lost touch with, and I’ve been thrilled with the experience. I am overwhelmed by how warm and open-minded everyone has been. Some are outright ecstatic, congratulating me and engaging with me about gender. Others have simply said, “Hey, Gareth, it’s good to hear from you” and moved on to other topics. But even that quiet acceptance means so much to me, when I can so easily imagine the painful rebuff I might receive from an old acquaintance.
It’s not all good, of course. I have a post percolating about the bad, which I’ll get down to writing soon, but I find it’s hard to dwell after I’ve done my shot, re-recorded my voice clips, and counted the mere months since the medical aspect of my transition began.
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